An untruth

Most of us see funny/cute e-cards or quotations and such posting on various social media websites multiple times a day.  Some of them can be pretty entertaining.  But recently I keep seeing one that just makes me sad and mad.  It goes like this,

“Until you’ve….Counted little fingers, counted little toes, held a little hand, kissed a little nose, soothed a little tummy, read to little ears, powdered a little booty, wiped away the tears, You haven’t known love”

I hate that.  I am a mother.  My husband is a father.  We counted fingers and toes, held her hand, and kissed her nose.  But it seems to society that we haven’t met all of the requirements to know the ‘real love’ that a parent feels because we never had the opportunity to sooth her upset tummy, read to her, powder her booty, or wipe away her tears. But I can tell you, we know love just as much as any other parent who gets the privilege of doing all of those things with their child.  I’m tired of being regarded as a ‘non parent’.  Kind of like the statement people make to us all the time now that we’re expecting again, “You’re going to be great parents.”  We are already parents thank you very much!  Just because our child died, that doesn’t mean we weren’t and aren’t her mommy and daddy.  I’m sure no one would ever say something like that to a parent who got to spend several years with their child who passed away.  I’ve also heard it said like this, “If your grandmother dies it doesn’t mean she was never your grandmother and that you’re no longer a grandchild.”  

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